My development thus far has been evaluating what I need to improve within myself and the efforts taken to become the strong and responsible man I wish to be. By leaving my comfort zone of supporting friends, I realize that I have allowed parts of who I was to slip away and I became weak in my stances. The most significant change was the loss of passion that I had with my friends. After coming to college, I failed to reignite my need to have meaningful connections with others and my need to bring light to their days. My attention was focused on “helping” others and being a guide. Being friends mostly with honors students, I felt the need to separate myself from the rest and demonstrate that I was the smartest – which I now realize that I will never succeed at because in the attempt to be smarter than others, you actually give in to base competitive desires that the intelligent do not lower themselves to and you allow hate to breed within you that controls your thoughts and hardens the heart – and it lead to my ruin. Opportunities for friendship became the chance to prove intellectual strength and opportunities for love became homes of hate. I have chosen to lower myself and now I am faced with the hard choice. The habits that I have formed still haunt me and attempt to influence my decision, so my choice must be resolute and unending. I have chosen to not trouble myself with the pettiness of personal hate and competition because it leads me into a cycle of perpetual discontent with “victory” and a need to win. I have chosen to focus my mind on my spiritual growth as well as on developing relationships with those whom I have joined and who have shown love to me.
Secondly, I have lost interest in my organizations. I am a Kolodzik Business Scholar as well as a Sigma Phi Epsilon. Over these first few months, I have drifted away from the organizations as I have many others commitments and I also want to relax in my free time. I have not put in much effort at the events of both groups as I have only been interested in getting through the events so that I may gratify myself with rest. I now realize that there is no rest for those who wish to live life to the fullest. This life is not easy and so the seeking out the pleasing aspects of reality will only push one to desire mediocrity through contentment of sensory pleasures. If one does not strive to endure and conquer challenge, he will not see the beauty in success and in overcoming self. I have realized that I must reject sloth, that when I submit to physical or mental weakness that I can never be truly happy or satisfied. I realize that the only meaning found in life is to reject the wants and take suffering head on and accomplish that which you had purpose to set out to achieve. Achievement itself is worthless, it is only the meaning that one puts to that that task that gives it value. Therefore, I must reject my inclinations to accept and live in contentment and complacency and to willingly accept hardship so that I may grow and truly live. The practical application of this belief is that I must actively strive to shoulder the anguish and difficulties that I endure and destroy/overcome them so that I may be a loving and active member in each respective group. I will choose to confront and fight my inertia and natural want to choose ease and comfort. I will choose to become stronger so that I may make these organizations significant in my life and push me to become the man I know I should and must become. Proactively increasing my involvement within my communities will move me to want true success; that in which you find joy through struggle.
Finally, I have been lacking in practicing my faith in my life. Since leaving my Christian high school, I have forgotten much of what I stood for as a man of faith because I was not in an environment that supported my morals/beliefs and because I allowed my thoughts to be influenced by others. I have taken steps to align myself with God and to become a holy and intellectual man through Bible Studies, joining the Society of Saint Paul, and attending Mass regularly. I am reminded of the man I must be each time I return to Mass or my studies. I listen to the instruction and wisdom within the Bible that enlightens my path.
I believe that assessing the problem exactly is crucial to the solution because I understand my habits, who I have become, and what I know I must do to stand up and regain my position. Therefore, I believe that writing and introspection is crucial to the development of the person because it identifies and analyzes what the person should be doing and because it eliminates complacency. Through internal questioning - which is then accompanied by invaluable advice - I have concluded that I want to be a better man when it comes to forming connections with other people, practicing and living my faith, and striving and ensuring that, at the end of the day, I am 1% stronger than I was when I began my day. I will use college as a time and means to improve upon myself because, although it may seem to be a disadvantage/hindrance because college life has influenced me, I will identify and understand the challenges/influencers and accept my crosses so that I may attain what I seek: a righteous man. Thus, the development that I have gone through is typified by the ability to realize that I am slipping and to then accept the hardships I bear so that I, through accepting challenge and overcoming myself, can discover truth and become a Man of God.
To conclude, I gave a brief summary of my year through the following presentation....
FINAL PRESENTATION
Secondly, I have lost interest in my organizations. I am a Kolodzik Business Scholar as well as a Sigma Phi Epsilon. Over these first few months, I have drifted away from the organizations as I have many others commitments and I also want to relax in my free time. I have not put in much effort at the events of both groups as I have only been interested in getting through the events so that I may gratify myself with rest. I now realize that there is no rest for those who wish to live life to the fullest. This life is not easy and so the seeking out the pleasing aspects of reality will only push one to desire mediocrity through contentment of sensory pleasures. If one does not strive to endure and conquer challenge, he will not see the beauty in success and in overcoming self. I have realized that I must reject sloth, that when I submit to physical or mental weakness that I can never be truly happy or satisfied. I realize that the only meaning found in life is to reject the wants and take suffering head on and accomplish that which you had purpose to set out to achieve. Achievement itself is worthless, it is only the meaning that one puts to that that task that gives it value. Therefore, I must reject my inclinations to accept and live in contentment and complacency and to willingly accept hardship so that I may grow and truly live. The practical application of this belief is that I must actively strive to shoulder the anguish and difficulties that I endure and destroy/overcome them so that I may be a loving and active member in each respective group. I will choose to confront and fight my inertia and natural want to choose ease and comfort. I will choose to become stronger so that I may make these organizations significant in my life and push me to become the man I know I should and must become. Proactively increasing my involvement within my communities will move me to want true success; that in which you find joy through struggle.
Finally, I have been lacking in practicing my faith in my life. Since leaving my Christian high school, I have forgotten much of what I stood for as a man of faith because I was not in an environment that supported my morals/beliefs and because I allowed my thoughts to be influenced by others. I have taken steps to align myself with God and to become a holy and intellectual man through Bible Studies, joining the Society of Saint Paul, and attending Mass regularly. I am reminded of the man I must be each time I return to Mass or my studies. I listen to the instruction and wisdom within the Bible that enlightens my path.
I believe that assessing the problem exactly is crucial to the solution because I understand my habits, who I have become, and what I know I must do to stand up and regain my position. Therefore, I believe that writing and introspection is crucial to the development of the person because it identifies and analyzes what the person should be doing and because it eliminates complacency. Through internal questioning - which is then accompanied by invaluable advice - I have concluded that I want to be a better man when it comes to forming connections with other people, practicing and living my faith, and striving and ensuring that, at the end of the day, I am 1% stronger than I was when I began my day. I will use college as a time and means to improve upon myself because, although it may seem to be a disadvantage/hindrance because college life has influenced me, I will identify and understand the challenges/influencers and accept my crosses so that I may attain what I seek: a righteous man. Thus, the development that I have gone through is typified by the ability to realize that I am slipping and to then accept the hardships I bear so that I, through accepting challenge and overcoming myself, can discover truth and become a Man of God.
To conclude, I gave a brief summary of my year through the following presentation....
FINAL PRESENTATION